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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27306817">Not Worth It</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/caelan_esque/pseuds/caelan_esque'>caelan_esque</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>unOrdinary (Webcomic)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 10:34:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>878</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27306817</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/caelan_esque/pseuds/caelan_esque</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He would be content to stay like this forever, holed up on the roof with no one around. But sadly, that's not how life works.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>80</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Not Worth It</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>John Doe sat still on the sun-warmed floor, his back pressed against the low concrete barrier surrounding the perimeter of the roof. His eyes were closed and his legs were drawn up close to his chest, his arms wrapped around his knees. The breeze ruffled his glossy black hair and gently blew through his bangs, caressing his face; its touch gentle. The sun beamed down at him, pleasantly warming his body. It was quiet here. No one yelling or screaming or fighting. No one being hypocritical or turning him into something he barely recognized. Just him, the wind, and the sky. </p><p> </p><p>He would be content to stay like this forever. </p><p> </p><p>But sadly, that’s not how life works. </p><p> </p><p>Uncurling himself slowly, he checked the time on his phone. It was 4:33 PM. He was supposed to meet Remi in seven minutes. Sighing, he let his head fall back onto the chainlink fence behind him, rattling it loudly. He didn’t want to. He would rather stay up here. But of course, he needed to establish a jack and get Remi’s ‘okay’ on the matter, whether she liked his pick or not. It was required by the hierarchy. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Hierarchy.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The word made him want to scream in anger and cry in frustration. The hierarchy was the cause of so many things gone wrong in his life. It was because of the hierarchy he lost himself in his old school, because of the hierarchy no one accepted him as the new king of the school, because of the hierarchy no one had <em> any </em>respect for him back in New Bostin. Because of the hierarchy he was betrayed, because of the hierarchy he was hurt, lied to, abused, played. His life was ruined. His mind was in shambles. </p><p> </p><p>He was now just a ghost roaming the hallways of Wellston, violently beating down those who challenged his authority. What he wouldn’t give to get out of that cycle. It gave him no pleasure to pummel a reckless idiot who thought it would be a good idea to take on Joker himself. Sure, it may have in the past, but now it made him feel disgusted with both his opponent and himself. </p><p> </p><p>If he was to be completely, utterly honest about how he was feeling, he would say he was miserable and saw no point in continuing life the way it was going right now. He just wanted everything to stop.</p><p> </p><p>With hesitation, John stood up, checking the time again. 4:47 PM. He was late. But...it didn’t matter anymore. Nothing mattered. </p><p> </p><p>Minutes later, he arrived at their agreed classroom location. </p><p> </p><p>Taking a breath, he applied pressure to the metal knob, making the internal mechanism click. <em>K</em><em>eep it together. Don’t lose it. </em>Pushing the door open and stepping inside, John saw Remi sitting on a vacant desk, tapping through her phone. She looked up. Their eyes locked. </p><p> </p><p>Remi put her phone aside and stood up, eyeing John. </p><p> </p><p>“Not to be rude, but..you should have been here nearly ten minutes ago.” </p><p> </p><p>John remained silent. He didn’t feel like answering her. He wasn’t obligated to. After all, what was the point?</p><p> </p><p>Realizing John wasn't going to answer, Remi continued. </p><p> </p><p>“So...you chose a new Jack, right? Who would that be?”</p><p> </p><p>“That’ll be Cecile. Any problem with that?”</p><p> </p><p>Remi shook her head, her pink tresses swaying. </p><p> </p><p>“No, I agree. Arlo…he…”</p><p> </p><p>John’s chest tightened at the mention of his bitter enemy, but he managed to stay calm. </p><p> </p><p>“He…?”</p><p> </p><p>“He told me not to vouch for him. He said he needed a break. I think…I think this whole Joker thing affected him more than he let on.”</p><p> </p><p>John remained silent for a few moments. Then, he let out a tiny, tired breath and began walking to the door. </p><p> </p><p>“Wait…John.”</p><p> </p><p>He stopped but didn’t turn around. </p><p> </p><p>“Are you..okay?” Remi asked softly. </p><p> </p><p>John paused in shock. No one had never asked him that question before. </p><p> </p><p>“W…What?” </p><p> </p><p>“Are you feeling alright..mentally? You look really exhausted and empty all the time..uh..and its really worrying a few people…So uhm...are you okay?”</p><p> </p><p>John slightly turned around to look at her. She stood there, playing with a long piece of her hair. Despite being slightly awkward in posture, her pinkish orange eyes were trained on him. </p><p> </p><p>He didn’t trust this girl. He pretty much hated her. Maybe less than others. But still. He was doing his best to be civil, and he was doing a good job so far. But the weight on his shoulders was dragging him down. He was quickly losing his will to live. The trapped guilt, rage, and misery was close to bursting. It was a ticking time bomb deep in the darkest corner of his mind, ready to erupt with one wrong step, one wrong word, with no warning. </p><p> </p><p>He felt detached. </p><p> </p><p>He felt scared. </p><p> </p><p>He felt cornered. </p><p> </p><p>He felt hopeless.</p><p> </p><p>He felt alone. </p><p> </p><p>He felt so many things and he didn’t like any of them. </p><p> </p><p>He <em> wasn’t </em> okay.</p><p> </p><p>But he swallowed the words back he desperately wanted to say, even if it was to Remi of all people. </p><p> </p><p>“John?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine.”</p><p> </p><p>He opened the door and slammed it shut behind him as he left. </p><p> </p><p><em> Not worth it. </em> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is my first time posting any of my writing. Any critiques or tips would be appreciated. Thanks for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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